We just completed Mallie’s first week of life!
That was quite a difficult week to make it through!
My poor baby wasn’t getting enough to eat, and she was understandably upset.
She didn’t nurse very well, due to a poor latch…
and not to go into to much personal detail, lets just say that I had to postpone
nursing her because of a ton of pain!
We got her some formula to supplement, and she was much happier!
She just kept eating and eating and eating!
She is now sleeping much better, and her temperament changed over night!
It was very difficult for me that first week, because, well, even before your baby is born,
you tend to feel how that little person will be. At least, I do.
I felt that she would be a calm, patient little one. Sweet. Precious.
But, she wasn’t like that at all!!!
And I was struggling with that, wondering who this little girl was and where she came from!
I also struggled- and still struggle- that because of the pain from nursing,
I had to stop for a time.
I love nursing my babies.
It’s such a personal and sweet bonding time for me and baby.
Bottle feeding isn’t so bad, though, not only because she’s a lot happier,
but it gives Daddy a chance to have some bonding time with her as well!
The biggest thing that I have struggled with, is knowing that she is my last baby.
Growing up, I always wanted to be a mom. Always wanted those sweet little babies.
I love the newborn stage!
And, now this is the last time that I will be able to hold my newborn.
I wish I could slow down time, and take in every precious moment with Mallie,
and to be able to go back to each one of my babies’ first days.
I have always struggled with depression. And it tends to get bad after having a baby.
Postpartum depression. Awful stuff!
I am writing my feelings now in hopes to “let it all out” and get past it as soon as possible,
so that I can enjoy this time, and remember it better.
You know, it’s amazing how much you come to love these precious children of God.
To be able to feel this intense love, and know that it is still only a percentage of
what our Heavenly Father feels for us… it’s truly amazing!
I look back and remember each of my children at this stage in life,
and I remember how much I loved them then, and realize all over again,
how precious they all are to me.
I am so very thankful to my Heavenly Father for giving me my precious little ones.
I love each of them so much!
~Now for something a lot more fun… Here’s a few of the pictures taken this week~
Isn’t she beautiful?!
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